: Nasty farts!!


Crazed
04-02-2003, 01:24 AM
I just had a fart brewing for awhile, so I went over to my dog and farted in his face, and he started to dry heave!!! :mrgreen: :twisted:

Anyone else have any good fart stories?

Bronkzilla
04-02-2003, 01:30 AM
ah memories..

Big Mike C.
04-02-2003, 01:37 AM
I had a friend in high school that was hugh! His whole family was rather large (I think that was the first lowered car I ever saw when they all got in a Volvo) anyway, he farted one time outside and he got sick from the smell. I almost threw up from laughing!

We had another friend that if you even mentioned throwing up he would get sick...we had a blast messing with him!

Davids78Bronco
04-02-2003, 02:01 AM
WELL, now I'm glad you waited til you got home for that! :finger:

Crazed
04-02-2003, 02:23 AM
I think it was all that mongolian I had for lunch....Mmmm garlicky!!

EvilBronc
04-02-2003, 02:43 AM
Last week I was standing outside of our warehouse office and let one rip!!! I gues the ventalation fans were pushing air into the office and the next thing I knew there's 10 guys swearing at eachother and gasping for air :oops: No one knew who it was! :twisted:

Damager
04-02-2003, 05:46 AM
I just had a fart brewing for awhile, so I went over to my dog and farted in his face, and he started to dry heave!!! :mrgreen: :twisted:


that's impressive :mrgreen: :cheers:

I got one , but it might be a bit too much for here ;) .. I'll tell a different one ...

When I was about 5-6 yrs old my dad was in the bathroom shaving and I was on the couch watching tv .. I had to fart so I ran in the bathroom and let it rip .. then I ran laughing back to the couch. I felt another coming .. so I ran in and let'er rip again .. this time dad says "hey, ya better not do that again or ya might mess yourself" ,, so of course I say "no I won't" and continue laughing .. then another one comes, but I think I hoping a bit more than 'having' so I run in there and while I am laughing I proceed to push and sh1t in my pants .. so, then he is the one that starts laughing..... dumb kids ;)

Davids78Bronco
04-02-2003, 06:03 AM
.. then another one comes, but I think I hoping a bit more than 'having' so I run in there and while I am laughing I proceed to push and sh1t in my pants .. so, then he is the one that starts laughing..... dumb kids ;)

:lollol: :lollol: :rofl: Holy shit, that was funny!


When I was dating Kris, she and her sister were sitting in Kris' room while at her computer. Her dad had to let one go, and being the courteous guy that he is, he ducks around the corner into the hall, turns around and let's it fly...........in Kris' direction! They both yelled at him, to which his only response was, "whoops"


Years before that, my brother and I were just kids, and were walking home after a day of playing with our friends, when all of a sudden, he stops, crosses his feet, and just stands there with what looked like, a forced smile. I couldn't figure it out, so I asked him, "what're you doing?" He apparently relaxed, then said, "nothing" and we went home. Next day, same thing, crossed feet, forced smile. By this time I caught on, "you're trying not to shit yourself, aren't you?" He was 8, I was 11

Dirtdigger
04-02-2003, 10:50 AM
I have one rule about farting in my house.......not at the dinner table IF it can be helped . If ya feel it coming on walk away.
This being said , I have a pair of 11 year old twin boys . Several weeks back they were sitting at the table , and I in our family room . When they started having a farting "contest" . After several minuets of this and listening to them laugh hysterically at each other , I reminded them of my rules . To which they responded , simotaniously......" dad it was an accident ". I just turned away and left the room (smiling). What's a father to do ? :damn:

blueoval78
04-02-2003, 10:53 AM
i cleared a subway platform in boston undergound during rush hour. i farted and then all of a sudden, it was us, and no one around us in like a 30foot plus raduis


you know that those are hardened people, useded to seeing bums piss and crap and all the other crap on the subway. me and my friends didnt have a hard time getting on the train though, there was no one infront of us :rofl:

Big Mike C.
04-02-2003, 11:16 AM
One of the joys of parenthood is farting on your children! :twisted:

Damager
04-02-2003, 11:33 AM
One of the joys of parenthood is farting on your children! :twisted:


HAHAHAHA yeah buddy! ;) funny as hell :cheers:

Sodbuster
04-02-2003, 11:41 AM
[quote="blueoval78"]i cleared a subway platform in boston undergound during rush hour. i farted and then all of a sudden, it was us, and no one around us in like a 30foot plus raduis

:rofl: :rofl: thats freakin funny,

My hired man had stayed drunk all weekend so he had horrible beer farts yesterday. The wind was blowing 15 mph and we were working outside he was ripping them all day some of them I could smell in the shop when he was outside upwind from me. I about sent him home, cause I was sick kept throwing up. It wasn't a pretty sight.

94_chickentaco
04-02-2003, 11:52 AM
I have woken myself up with loud farts on occasion.
Startles me, wakes me up. :cheers:

Big Mike C.
04-02-2003, 12:00 PM
One reason your bags are later and lost at the airport...when I worked for American eagle in the bag room we had this older guy that only ate Mexican food all day all the time...he would rip farts and clear the room, therefore your bags would continue to circle the belt until the room cleared!

Damager
04-02-2003, 12:04 PM
Sodbuster, you reminded me of a good one ... I used to be a roofer for 13 years ... used to drink a 12 pack every day .. sometimes a case or more..just another day type of thing

I had eaten some "mexican pizza's" at Taco Bell one night and the next day they turned my gut so bad that people on THE GROUND could smell me farting up on THE ROOF!!! ... hahahaha, I could hear the homeowner in his yard talking to a neighbor wondering if his septic system was leaking ... hahahaha... those were the days :cheers:

Davids78Bronco
04-03-2003, 02:13 PM
I had eaten some "mexican pizza's" at Taco Bell one night and the next day they turned my gut so bad that people on THE GROUND could smell me farting up on THE ROOF!!! ... hahahaha, I could hear the homeowner in his yard talking to a neighbor wondering if his septic system was leaking ... hahahaha... those were the days :cheers:


LMAO - when you start killing the vegetation around you, it's time to change your diet

godless
04-03-2003, 02:45 PM
When I was a kid, one day after school I came home and went to my bedroom where I had seen my brother fallin asleep on my bean bag chair playing one of my Nintendo games.
Well I had to change for football, so while I was undressing I opended up my arse cheeks and pushed my starfish up to my brothers nose and mouth, I then let out the BIGGEST BOLDED fart.
My brothers was immediatly startled and you know what happens when you get startled from being asleep (You breath in really fast).
SO by the time he came to his senses I had been out of the room.
My brother said that it was not only the worst fart he had smelled, he also tasted it.
He had to throw up and brush his teeth to get the flavor out of his mouth.

Damager
04-03-2003, 02:47 PM
hahaha, we'll have to call you REARMAN from now on .. hahahaha :mrgreen: well done ...


tastin' some azz .. ewww :crazy:

Davids78Bronco
04-03-2003, 03:10 PM
haha, what kind of a guy shoves his ass in his own brother's face? Oh wait, I used to fart on my brother all the time when we were kids

When I was younger, my brother and I went over to pick up a friend for an afternoon of playing pool. Now, I'd heard about it, saw it on the movies, but never in my life, did I ever believe you could actually light a fart. He told my brother to quickly shut off the lights. As soon as he did that, I saw a little flicker from a Bic, thought, "what?...", then FOOM!! - a huge green flame lit up his legs. And ya know? I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life. That was the single most funniest F'in thing I had ever seen

After about 20 solid minutes of laughing, we told him to do it again, but he said no, that it almost burned his ass

ESC
04-03-2003, 03:47 PM
I just had a fart brewing for awhile, so I went over to my dog and farted in his face, and he started to dry heave!!! :mrgreen: :twisted:

Anyone else have any good fart stories?

OMG that is ****en funny :lol: :lol:

godless
04-03-2003, 04:40 PM
hahaha, we'll have to call you REARMAN from now on .. hahahaha :mrgreen: well done ...


tastin' some azz .. ewww :crazy:

I still dont think he ever forgave me for that one.

A friend of mine who works for BMW has fart wars all the time with the service writers and the mechanics.
One time he went into work and someone had thrown a pair of soiled underware in his filing cabanet.
After he found out it was one of the mechanics he kept a low profile for about a week.
Well my friend went into work really early one morning and took a shiz right in between the mechanics Snap-On master set, and the car the tech came in to finish work on.
(Tool box is huge stands like 6 feet high and about 8 feet wide).
Well it had stunk up the place something awful.
Well about two hours later when everyone started rolling into work The customer had came in to check status of his car, when the service writer brought the customer out to the shop area to show the damage done to the sun roof the shop manager, and the customer seen the big pile of shiz sitting on the floor right in front of the customers car!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can imagine everyone was a little embarrassed.
But the shop got off easy, they told the customer that they keep a dog in the shop at night for security and that "They must have missed that one".