: Your best Ford Vs. Chevy joke

03-04-2011, 09:32 PM
* A man pulls up next to a girl walking home from school and said: "If you get in, I'll give you a Lollipop."
The girl kept on walking and the man said: "If you get in I'll give you two Lollipops."
The girl kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued walking. The man said: "Please get in and I'll give you a whole bag of Lollipops."
Finally, the girl turned and said: "Look Dad, You bought the CHEVY, You ride in it!!!"

03-04-2011, 11:04 PM
"Have you heard that Ford is giving away a German Shepherd pup with every new F-150 sold? That way the driver has someone to walk home with..."

"Ford's making huge innovations in the pickup truck market. First came trailer hitch cameras, then tailgate steps. They've recently announced a heated tailgate on the 2010 F-150. Now your hands won't get cold when you have to push the truck home."

Sorry fellas, I cut my teeth on GM products. Old habits die hard. :goodfinge

03-04-2011, 11:14 PM
Q. How do you double the value of a Chevy?

A. Fill up the gas tank.

03-05-2011, 12:56 AM
Just had a recent thread on this, but I'll play. Only because Chevy's are absolute garbage, I've had 3 new ones since 2000 and will never buy another. Problems too many to list on ALL of them, and got a 10G lemon law lawsuit on one of them. Actually 13G but the lawyer got 3k.


-Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Run On Luck Every Time

-Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

-Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."

Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?

A. Push it off a cliff.

Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my


A. Sounds like a fair trade.

Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?

A. A miracle?

Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?

A. A mirage.

Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?

A. Customized.

Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?

A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?

A. Shock absorbers.

Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?

A. Park it between two Fords

CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed

CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

GMC= Garage Man's Companion

GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming

GMC= Gay Mans Chariot

GM= General Mistake

How do Gay guys come out to their parents?

They say "I like Chevy's"


03-05-2011, 02:16 AM
Chevy-lay down and lets a Ford pass it.

03-05-2011, 08:43 AM
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?

A. The bus schedule.

03-05-2011, 10:28 AM
Chevy, like a rock, it moves like one too! or this little boys wear bowties, big boys drive FORD!

03-05-2011, 11:34 AM
only queers and little boys wear bow ties

03-05-2011, 11:36 AM
chevy like a rock, hit it and it crumbles.

03-05-2011, 11:46 AM
so I went to the chevy dealer today and found out how to get a chevy to move, just like a rock roll it down a hill.

03-06-2011, 02:42 PM
Louis Chevrolet himself didn't want to name a car company after himself; he wanted to name it "Rolls-Canardly."

Rolls downhill great, Canardly get up the other side.