Iolaus
04-02-2007, 02:19 PM
Below is the abbreviated version of Wife School - The Book.
...and yes, there really is an instruction book (http://www.wifeschool.net/index.html), and a final exam (http://www.wifeschool.net/test.html).
:histerica
Chapters:
1. Appearance*
2. Automobiles
3. The Bathroom
4. Beer and Alcohol
5. Special Events*
6. Bodily Functions*
7. Daytime Activities
8. Children
9. Decisions
10. Feelings*
11. General Notes
12. His Friends
13. Your Friends*
14. His Family *
15. Television
16. Going Out Together
17. Meal Preparation
18. Money Management
19. Wife School Contract*
20. Wife School Test
* Only available in Wife School - The Book
Automobiles
Do not be concerned with what type of car you drive. Your husband will determine this for you. He will most likely choose a sports car, truck, or SUV for himself. He is doing this for your mutual benefit. Your car’s primary purpose is to let you run errands, shuttle the children to activities and run to the store for more beer and alcohol. His vehicle will be used when you go out for important events, so it needs to be a little bit nicer.
When in the car with him, do not, under any circumstances, touch the radio. If he listens to sports talk radio, listen and try to learn a little about his favorite teams so you can contribute more to your conversations. If he has a music station on that you do not listen to, listen and broaden your horizons... Read more in Wife School - The Book
The Bathroom
The bathroom should always be kept clean for your husband. Your make up, toiletries and especially your feminine products should always be out of his sight. There is the age old question to whether the toilet seat should be kept down or up. The answer to this is scientific, so pay close attention, and ask your husband to explain if you do not understand. Newton discovered a law of physics and it is called gravity. Gravity means that objects (things) will fall down towards the Earth (ground). Your toilet seat is an object; hence it will go down easier than it will go up. Therefore it is easier for you to put the seat down than it will be for him to pick it up. If you don’t understand the previous explanation, I’ll re-phrase it for you. Do not complain about the stupid toilet seat being up woman! Read more in Wife School - The Book
Beer & Alcohol
Make sure you know your husband’s favorite beer and spirits. It is a good idea to keep an inventory list and update it weekly. Your husband should always have plenty of beer and alcohol should he need it for relaxation or to entertain work guests and his friends. Should there ever be a situation when he is running low on alcohol, run to the local store and pick up ample supply. You should never let him run out, especially in the presence of guests... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Daytime Activities
A wife’s day is a busy day. There are many activities required to please her husband and have a happy home. We have listed the most important ones below for you to quickly refer to every day. It is a good idea to keep a daily checklist. Do not allow anything from the outside world interfere with your daily duties. Make sure to check your list 1 ½ to 2 hours before you expect him home. This will give you extra time should anything come up or he should arrive a little early. Ask him to give you a call if he is going to be more than an hour early so you can be ready. Don’t pester him or admonish him if he forgets to call, remember he may have had a stressful day at work.
Of all the daily activities you have, this is the most important. Nothing is more stressful for your husband than to return home after a day’s work to find a messy house. The bed should be made, the carpet vacuumed, floors swept, kitchen tidy, and the living areas neat and clean.
When it time to look over the checklist a couple hours before he comes home, it is a good time to light an aromatic candle.
* Errands
With all the demands on your husband, it is important to have your support and assistance with the running of errands. You should handle the dry cleaning, periodically clothes shop for him, and pick up other assorted items. It is a good idea to keep up on the latest clothing trends and pick up a trendy item each time you clothes shop for him. Of course, you should always keep receipts should he dislike the item.
* Laundry
At least 2-3 times a week you should do laundry. He should never run of clothing, especially clean underwear and socks. Learn where he likes his different clothes kept. Make sure to fold and put them away in the proper location well before you expect him home. Pay attention to his preferences of fabric softener. He may like or dislike the aromatic smells of fabric softeners, change your use of fabric softeners accordingly.
* Pets
If you have pets, you should manage their care and not burden him with pet ownership tasks. Let your dog out periodically throughout the day and clean up after him/her. Tidy up their eating areas daily. If you have a cat, clean its litter box every other day and anytime you smell even a faint odor. Men typically do not like cats, so do not give him a reason to make you give it up.
* Trash
There is no excuse for the trash to be full when he is home. It is especially offensive should the odor be noticeable. Make sure to take the trash out before he returns.
* Exercise
See the Appearance section.
* Grocery shopping
Two times a week is usually a good schedule for grocery shopping. Make sure to clip coupons and comparison shop for the best prices. See the Money Management section for more details in this area. Prepare your list and make sure to check how much of his favorite foods and drinks you have in the house, and replenish them... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Children
If you and your husband have children, you should be especially grateful that he has bestowed you with the honor of his children. Every child is a great gift that a man gives his wife. It is a mother’s responsibility to care for her husband’s children.
You should always keep track of the children’s activities. Picking up and dropping off of the children from school, sports, and their other activities should always be done by the wife... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Decisions
In general, you should defer to your husband’s judgment on any major decisions. Unless he asks you for your opinion, it is best to not volunteer it... Read more in Wife School - The Book
General Notes & Miscellaneous Items
You should always be attentive to your husband. He is the man of the house and should be treated with respect at all times. When he speaks to you, clear your mind of other matters and make sure you give him your full attention. If he summons you from another room, discontinue your current activity and find him quickly. If you would like to speak to your husband, always go to the room he is in, wait till the commercial if he is watching television and, then, discuss what is on your mind. If he does not want to discuss your thought at that time, immediately stop talking and leave him to his previous activity. Depending on the level of frustration you have brought upon your husband, you may not want to ever discuss that thought again with him.
A good wife will always be pleasant and happy when in the presence of their husband. Yes you have a lot of tasks to complete every day, but it pales in comparison to what he does every day. Never make excuses for not getting your tasks done.
Do not whine or complain to your husband about your problems. If you want to share a problem you are having, always think of a solution before you start the discussion so he know that you are trying. He may give you a better way to deal with your situation. Also, do not whine or complain about not going out on weekends or for dinner. Your husband has stress and concerns that he must deal with. He will take you out when the time is right. Instead, you should make his time at home more comfortable. Foot massages and back rubs are great stress relievers for him.
If you should ever make a big mistake and complain, whine, question him, or forget to do something for him; immediately apologize. Explain that you will not do that again. It is probably a hormonal issue due to female things. Monitor this and pay extra attention during those times of the month.
It is a big, big no-no to try to change your husband’s habits or personality. This is a simple rule. You do not need to understand why.
If you are ever in the presence of you husband and see he is looking at or commented about another woman, do not take notice. This is a great opportunity to learn and change yourself more to his liking. It is also a good idea to see if the girl would like to join you for a drink... Read more in Wife School - The Book
His Friends
His friends are your biggest help to a happy marriage. When he goes out with his friends, they are assisting you in relieving his stress. They fulfill his need for interaction among peers, something that is different from your time together. If he comes home a little late or had a few drinks, never complain. You should ascertain his level of sobriety and assist him to bed happily. If he entertains his friends in your home, you should be honored that he has allowed you to be included in this part of his life... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Television
Always wait to speak until the commercial. It is such a simple and logical thing to do, but many wives will forget this repeatedly... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Going Out Together
Remember from the Appearance section that you represent him when you go out. So, you should look your best for him and in front of his friends. If you go to the movies, he will pick the movie that you both will enjoy. Remember, there are no commercials in movies, so no talking. Wait until after the movie if you got lost, he will explain it to you then. If you are going out with friends for dinner, to a lounge or their home; remember to be attentive to him and be very polite to his friends. You should become friends with his friends and especially their wives and girlfriends. There will be times when you and the other girls should let them be alone. This is a shorter version of him going out with his friends, again this is helping you. See the His Friends section for more information. Should one of his friend’s wives or girlfriends act inappropriately, do not follow their lead. It doesn’t matter where you are, he is the head of your relationship and should always treated with the utmost respect. Instead, you should wait until you are alone with his friend’s wife or girlfriend and admonish her. Read more in Wife School - The Book
Meal preparation
Breakfast
A good wife will rise 45-60 minutes before her husband to prepare his breakfast. He has a long, hard day of work and will need to be properly nourished. Don’t forget to balance the time needed to prepare breakfast with the time you’ll need to press his clothes for the day. Medium starch is suggested, unless he prefers a different level.
Lunch
In today’s busy world he may choose to eat out with his co-workers. You should check with him to see if he would like you to make his lunch or if he prefers to eat out. There may be days that he asks for you to make his lunch, but doesn’t eat it. For reasons you do not understand, he may have had to eat out. Do not complain when this happens, he had a good reason for this. Instead, ask him if there is anything you could do for him, he probably had a rough day.
Another nice gesture is to offer to pick up his lunch from one of his favorite restaurants. Ask him the night before if he would like you to do so. Do not do this without his approval. When you drop it off, do it and promptly go home, unless he asks you to stay. You must not get behind on your household chores.
Dinner
This is a wife’s opportunity to really show how much she cares about her husband. He will be tired mentally and maybe physically from his work day. Dinner should be served about 15 minutes after he returns home. You should learn when your husband needs some time by himself before you discuss his day. Wait until he begins the conversation and be supportive. Get to know his favorite foods and have one of his favorites ready. Also, prepare a list of dishes that can be made quickly, should he have had a similar meal to your first choice for lunch. You may want to email him in the mid-afternoon and suggest a couple of dinner ideas for him to choose from. However, ifyou find that he does not respond often, you should discontinue this practice. Your husband might have a job that cannot be distracted from. In this case, have a good selection of back up choices that require short preparation time.
Money Management
The man of the house will manage the finances. Do not let into your temptation and spend money without his approval. If you cannot reach him or are unsure if he will approve the purchase of an item, it is better to hold off and check with him first. If it is something you need to get, make absolutely sure you have the receipt and check the store return policy before you purchase it... Read more in Wife School - The Book
...and yes, there really is an instruction book (http://www.wifeschool.net/index.html), and a final exam (http://www.wifeschool.net/test.html).
:histerica
Chapters:
1. Appearance*
2. Automobiles
3. The Bathroom
4. Beer and Alcohol
5. Special Events*
6. Bodily Functions*
7. Daytime Activities
8. Children
9. Decisions
10. Feelings*
11. General Notes
12. His Friends
13. Your Friends*
14. His Family *
15. Television
16. Going Out Together
17. Meal Preparation
18. Money Management
19. Wife School Contract*
20. Wife School Test
* Only available in Wife School - The Book
Automobiles
Do not be concerned with what type of car you drive. Your husband will determine this for you. He will most likely choose a sports car, truck, or SUV for himself. He is doing this for your mutual benefit. Your car’s primary purpose is to let you run errands, shuttle the children to activities and run to the store for more beer and alcohol. His vehicle will be used when you go out for important events, so it needs to be a little bit nicer.
When in the car with him, do not, under any circumstances, touch the radio. If he listens to sports talk radio, listen and try to learn a little about his favorite teams so you can contribute more to your conversations. If he has a music station on that you do not listen to, listen and broaden your horizons... Read more in Wife School - The Book
The Bathroom
The bathroom should always be kept clean for your husband. Your make up, toiletries and especially your feminine products should always be out of his sight. There is the age old question to whether the toilet seat should be kept down or up. The answer to this is scientific, so pay close attention, and ask your husband to explain if you do not understand. Newton discovered a law of physics and it is called gravity. Gravity means that objects (things) will fall down towards the Earth (ground). Your toilet seat is an object; hence it will go down easier than it will go up. Therefore it is easier for you to put the seat down than it will be for him to pick it up. If you don’t understand the previous explanation, I’ll re-phrase it for you. Do not complain about the stupid toilet seat being up woman! Read more in Wife School - The Book
Beer & Alcohol
Make sure you know your husband’s favorite beer and spirits. It is a good idea to keep an inventory list and update it weekly. Your husband should always have plenty of beer and alcohol should he need it for relaxation or to entertain work guests and his friends. Should there ever be a situation when he is running low on alcohol, run to the local store and pick up ample supply. You should never let him run out, especially in the presence of guests... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Daytime Activities
A wife’s day is a busy day. There are many activities required to please her husband and have a happy home. We have listed the most important ones below for you to quickly refer to every day. It is a good idea to keep a daily checklist. Do not allow anything from the outside world interfere with your daily duties. Make sure to check your list 1 ½ to 2 hours before you expect him home. This will give you extra time should anything come up or he should arrive a little early. Ask him to give you a call if he is going to be more than an hour early so you can be ready. Don’t pester him or admonish him if he forgets to call, remember he may have had a stressful day at work.
Of all the daily activities you have, this is the most important. Nothing is more stressful for your husband than to return home after a day’s work to find a messy house. The bed should be made, the carpet vacuumed, floors swept, kitchen tidy, and the living areas neat and clean.
When it time to look over the checklist a couple hours before he comes home, it is a good time to light an aromatic candle.
* Errands
With all the demands on your husband, it is important to have your support and assistance with the running of errands. You should handle the dry cleaning, periodically clothes shop for him, and pick up other assorted items. It is a good idea to keep up on the latest clothing trends and pick up a trendy item each time you clothes shop for him. Of course, you should always keep receipts should he dislike the item.
* Laundry
At least 2-3 times a week you should do laundry. He should never run of clothing, especially clean underwear and socks. Learn where he likes his different clothes kept. Make sure to fold and put them away in the proper location well before you expect him home. Pay attention to his preferences of fabric softener. He may like or dislike the aromatic smells of fabric softeners, change your use of fabric softeners accordingly.
* Pets
If you have pets, you should manage their care and not burden him with pet ownership tasks. Let your dog out periodically throughout the day and clean up after him/her. Tidy up their eating areas daily. If you have a cat, clean its litter box every other day and anytime you smell even a faint odor. Men typically do not like cats, so do not give him a reason to make you give it up.
* Trash
There is no excuse for the trash to be full when he is home. It is especially offensive should the odor be noticeable. Make sure to take the trash out before he returns.
* Exercise
See the Appearance section.
* Grocery shopping
Two times a week is usually a good schedule for grocery shopping. Make sure to clip coupons and comparison shop for the best prices. See the Money Management section for more details in this area. Prepare your list and make sure to check how much of his favorite foods and drinks you have in the house, and replenish them... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Children
If you and your husband have children, you should be especially grateful that he has bestowed you with the honor of his children. Every child is a great gift that a man gives his wife. It is a mother’s responsibility to care for her husband’s children.
You should always keep track of the children’s activities. Picking up and dropping off of the children from school, sports, and their other activities should always be done by the wife... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Decisions
In general, you should defer to your husband’s judgment on any major decisions. Unless he asks you for your opinion, it is best to not volunteer it... Read more in Wife School - The Book
General Notes & Miscellaneous Items
You should always be attentive to your husband. He is the man of the house and should be treated with respect at all times. When he speaks to you, clear your mind of other matters and make sure you give him your full attention. If he summons you from another room, discontinue your current activity and find him quickly. If you would like to speak to your husband, always go to the room he is in, wait till the commercial if he is watching television and, then, discuss what is on your mind. If he does not want to discuss your thought at that time, immediately stop talking and leave him to his previous activity. Depending on the level of frustration you have brought upon your husband, you may not want to ever discuss that thought again with him.
A good wife will always be pleasant and happy when in the presence of their husband. Yes you have a lot of tasks to complete every day, but it pales in comparison to what he does every day. Never make excuses for not getting your tasks done.
Do not whine or complain to your husband about your problems. If you want to share a problem you are having, always think of a solution before you start the discussion so he know that you are trying. He may give you a better way to deal with your situation. Also, do not whine or complain about not going out on weekends or for dinner. Your husband has stress and concerns that he must deal with. He will take you out when the time is right. Instead, you should make his time at home more comfortable. Foot massages and back rubs are great stress relievers for him.
If you should ever make a big mistake and complain, whine, question him, or forget to do something for him; immediately apologize. Explain that you will not do that again. It is probably a hormonal issue due to female things. Monitor this and pay extra attention during those times of the month.
It is a big, big no-no to try to change your husband’s habits or personality. This is a simple rule. You do not need to understand why.
If you are ever in the presence of you husband and see he is looking at or commented about another woman, do not take notice. This is a great opportunity to learn and change yourself more to his liking. It is also a good idea to see if the girl would like to join you for a drink... Read more in Wife School - The Book
His Friends
His friends are your biggest help to a happy marriage. When he goes out with his friends, they are assisting you in relieving his stress. They fulfill his need for interaction among peers, something that is different from your time together. If he comes home a little late or had a few drinks, never complain. You should ascertain his level of sobriety and assist him to bed happily. If he entertains his friends in your home, you should be honored that he has allowed you to be included in this part of his life... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Television
Always wait to speak until the commercial. It is such a simple and logical thing to do, but many wives will forget this repeatedly... Read more in Wife School - The Book
Going Out Together
Remember from the Appearance section that you represent him when you go out. So, you should look your best for him and in front of his friends. If you go to the movies, he will pick the movie that you both will enjoy. Remember, there are no commercials in movies, so no talking. Wait until after the movie if you got lost, he will explain it to you then. If you are going out with friends for dinner, to a lounge or their home; remember to be attentive to him and be very polite to his friends. You should become friends with his friends and especially their wives and girlfriends. There will be times when you and the other girls should let them be alone. This is a shorter version of him going out with his friends, again this is helping you. See the His Friends section for more information. Should one of his friend’s wives or girlfriends act inappropriately, do not follow their lead. It doesn’t matter where you are, he is the head of your relationship and should always treated with the utmost respect. Instead, you should wait until you are alone with his friend’s wife or girlfriend and admonish her. Read more in Wife School - The Book
Meal preparation
Breakfast
A good wife will rise 45-60 minutes before her husband to prepare his breakfast. He has a long, hard day of work and will need to be properly nourished. Don’t forget to balance the time needed to prepare breakfast with the time you’ll need to press his clothes for the day. Medium starch is suggested, unless he prefers a different level.
Lunch
In today’s busy world he may choose to eat out with his co-workers. You should check with him to see if he would like you to make his lunch or if he prefers to eat out. There may be days that he asks for you to make his lunch, but doesn’t eat it. For reasons you do not understand, he may have had to eat out. Do not complain when this happens, he had a good reason for this. Instead, ask him if there is anything you could do for him, he probably had a rough day.
Another nice gesture is to offer to pick up his lunch from one of his favorite restaurants. Ask him the night before if he would like you to do so. Do not do this without his approval. When you drop it off, do it and promptly go home, unless he asks you to stay. You must not get behind on your household chores.
Dinner
This is a wife’s opportunity to really show how much she cares about her husband. He will be tired mentally and maybe physically from his work day. Dinner should be served about 15 minutes after he returns home. You should learn when your husband needs some time by himself before you discuss his day. Wait until he begins the conversation and be supportive. Get to know his favorite foods and have one of his favorites ready. Also, prepare a list of dishes that can be made quickly, should he have had a similar meal to your first choice for lunch. You may want to email him in the mid-afternoon and suggest a couple of dinner ideas for him to choose from. However, ifyou find that he does not respond often, you should discontinue this practice. Your husband might have a job that cannot be distracted from. In this case, have a good selection of back up choices that require short preparation time.
Money Management
The man of the house will manage the finances. Do not let into your temptation and spend money without his approval. If you cannot reach him or are unsure if he will approve the purchase of an item, it is better to hold off and check with him first. If it is something you need to get, make absolutely sure you have the receipt and check the store return policy before you purchase it... Read more in Wife School - The Book