This one really is worth the read.
1997 Merican Ford F150! automatic transmission I should start by saying that if you are looking for a "Pajama party Barbie Truck" you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of the beast before you, I can offer you two words "MEAT & POTATOES". This is the All-American chariot of the free world.
You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter truck son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! From that day forward my life has never been the same. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this beast of a truck. So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend, this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.
This baby's pulse is pumping 5.4 liters of uncensored raw fuel through her V8 nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine mini truck. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the steering wheel. And she will obey, the first time, every time. If you can't handle this truck, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her. If you wreck her, you can count on getting hit in the face with a piece of re-bar and sent back where you came from.
It has A/C but are you kidding me. . ..Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: roll the windows down. "What if it's raining?". . .You whiney little baby! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn't give a dang about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he's already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts. If you are looking for the kind of truck that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the "truck doesn't get dirty" Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of crap. Because now you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your "sissy sponge glove car wash kit" in the pink bucket it came in. Go ahead and spark up your 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer in your man cave, cause you are Tim Gillespie and you can pressure wash your truck however the heck you wanna.
She's got a short bed.. But that short bed is big enough to hold that buffalo you just killed with your bare hands with room to spare for whatever else your manly needs desire. It also has bed rails to tie that massive buffalo to in case that buffalo you just killed comes back to life while you're doing 80 over some mountain pass or flooded river. If you're thinking about Mexican or Chinese chrome bumpers for her, think again. That bumper came from a hand forged blacksmith shop somewhere in America over a wood burnin fire, out of 4 inch well casing, and old railroad tracks and then I welded them to the dang chassis. That way if you get deployed you can piggy back this war wagon on a deuce and a half and chain her down tight from the four corners, so you don't lose her when your convoy gets hit by a taliband roadside suicide bomber.
Forget about putting on some mufflers on this machine. It has got true duals straight back that kick out at 45's. Nothing holding this beast back from screaming down the road and letting people know exactly who's comin their way. When you're heard 2 miles away in this American Beast there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . . . .real quick.
If you think you're ready to park this AMERICAN MADE BEAST on your tract of land. If you buy this truck you better go get your old lady ready for some changes around your lair, cause this type of stuff will be happening.. What will be Happening? Glad you asked...
1. More chest hair.
2. You're growing a beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. T-Rex for a pet.
5. You're taking a job at the lumber mill..
6. Penis enlargement.
7. Catch more fish.
8. Wire bristled toothbrush.
9. All male offspring.
10. Chiseled jaw line.
11. Not giving a dang.
12. Flesh turning to steel.
13. Higher salary
15. More golfing
16. More trophy animals hanging on your wall.
17. More killing stuff.
18. Paid Vacations.
19. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.
20. More tools in your garage.
21. Bigger TV
22. Wife takes out the trash
23. Four Wheel Drive (Only a real men own 4x4's)
24. Wife brings trash can in from road.
25. Wife stops complaining about clothes on floor.
26. Wife stocks fridge with meat instead of that vegan crap.
27. Chuck Norris.
28. John McCain
29. Steaks for dinner.
30. Winning the Lottery.
31. Arm Wrestling With Big Foot
32. Building stuff out of stone.
33. Best Riding Lawn Mower In The County.
34. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
35. Bar Fights.
36. Craftsman Tools.
37. Jay Bisset.
38. Welding stuff.
39. Digging holes.
40. Huge Piece of meat.
Put your GPS back in your purse.
Sounds good doesn't it? Dang right it does son.
This truck has carried me through 197,000 miles of battlefield more than twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie "300?. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. If you think you've worn her out you drag this beast back to me in any condition. And I'll handle the rest. But if you think you're going to get to whip this mule you better pony up Sixty Five Hundred Dollars. . .AMERICAN Cash. I'm not selling you this car unless you are clearly a pure red blooded American Species, so don't even think about it. (Unless you have the cash, then you can buy her too) Give me a call anytime or text me at 1660twofivefour2110