Things Your Dad Said - Ford Bronco Forum
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post #1 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
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Things Your Dad Said

Or your Mom. Or your Grandpa. Or whoever had influence over you growing up. They seem to have said things over & over, or said things that were just plain unusual. Some are pearls, some not so much. What did you hear growing up?

My dad has been gone almost 2 years & I miss him. Here are a few of his:
  • "Get down before you fall down". This one caught me off guard when I heard someone who sounded a lot like me saying it to my son.
  • "Craftsman tools are guaranteed forever."
  • "Electric chainsaws always start."
  • "It's better to clean up partway thru the job sometimes, rather than to work dirty all the time."
  • "Slicker than snot on a doorknob."
  • "You cannot argue logically with someone who is illogical." In dealing with 2 of my many siblings, related to distributing what Dad left behind, this one sure stands out. I need to remember it while we try to wrap this mess up.
  • "First rule: Don't do anything stupid". His favorite. It covered anything he didn't think of in the other rules.
  • "BAD WORDS! BAD WORDS! BAD WORDS!" The one still makes me laugh, said after smashing his thumb & realizing my impressionable ears were listening to whatever might come next.
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post #2 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 08:40 PM
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My Dad always said:

IF YOU WANT TO DOUBLE YOUR MONEY; FOLD IT IN HALF & PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET

When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded at how much he had learned in the last seven years



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post #3 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 08:47 PM
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In the many years we were in business, we had a lot of dealings with unions and dad was definitely not fond of them. I remember many years ago, he told me:

SON, UNIONS ARE A LOT LIKE FANS.
IF YOU STAND IN FRONT OF THEM, THEY BLOW.
IF YOU STAND BEHIND THEM, THEY SUCK.
...AND IF YOU STAND ALONG SIDE OF THEM, THEY DON'T DO A PHUCKING THING!

When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded at how much he had learned in the last seven years



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post #4 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 08:53 PM
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when I got my first real paying job out of college, regarding budgets:
"you spend what you make"

the other day when I complained about something while I was helping him at his house:
"tough titty" (been his kid for 40+ years and never heard him say that)

and

"If you're trying to find a better way to do something on the factory floor, talk to the lazy people"
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post #5 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 09:01 PM
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Delete this if it brings the thread down, But my dad told me .... "i never wanted you". True story. I do not come from nice people.
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post #6 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 09:06 PM
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How's fencedemocker(fence-de-mocker)? The name he gave to my girlfriends and my sisters boyfriends.
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post #7 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 09:23 PM
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“Don’t do anything half-a$$ed - all that does is make you a whole a$$.”

“Sweating’ like a whore in church”

Lol
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post #8 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 09:41 PM
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my dad been gone almost 30 yrs now
he was a awesome mechanic,not just some parts changer ,he could fix anything and never screwed anyone out of any money ever

1 he told me the only thing you have in this life is your name/reputation, make it count!

2 it takes less time to take longer to do it right the first time then to do it over again 3 times crappy

3 you cant paint over dirt/grease (I tried to prove him wrong many times in the 20 yrs I had with him though at my great expense buying the paint again (see quote above)

4 this one he never told me this but it was easy to see the way he lived,never toss anything out because you never know when you are going to need it

and my favourite was actually from my mom(she is one of 16 and if they had their own country their currency would say " in food we trust")

she told me to never trust a skinny cook!
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post #9 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 09:54 PM
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"You're a burden."
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post #10 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 09:58 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 351w500 View Post
Delete this if it brings the thread down, But my dad told me .... "i never wanted you". True story. I do not come from nice people.
He said what he said. Sometimes we learn what not to do from our dads. Mine was overall a good guy, but I raised my kids differently in many ways.

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post #11 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 10:08 PM
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"The first baby is always premature...... all the rest seem to take 9 months."
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"....but I will say that a man who wouldn’t cheat for a poke don’t want one bad enough.”
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post #12 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 10:28 PM
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Your mother and these damn 5 watt lightbulbs!!! Get me gotdamn flashlight!!

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post #13 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 10:48 PM
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"You want a butt lacing?"

My dad abused my sister and I. Social services removed him from the home.

He tought my how NOT to raise my kids.

I was the only one by his side when he passed away......
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post #14 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 11:08 PM
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A few of my favorites from my father who passed 8 years ago:

”Last time I checked, money isn't growing on the trees out back” - I'm using that quite frequently with my son in his first year of college.

The one I try to live up to - ”It's better to go through life regretting what you have done, than to regret not having done it”

My father was a lifelong educator spending his career with RPI/VCU/MCV - ”Only 10% of going away to college is about book learning, 80% is meeting people while walking up the back stairwell of your dorm and the last 80% is learning that you can only turn your underwear inside out once before you need to wash it. But Dad... that's more than 100%. Don't ruin a good story son”

Or that perennial favorite as he was looping his belt over and snapping it a couple of times for effect - ”This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you” - Total bunk, but I generally deserved the whipping I was about to receive. LOL

Bonus: how about giving advice? When my son was younger he wanted to build a box for his mother. So I took him down to the shop, cut the pieces out and helped him glue and clamp it up.

Next day we're running through the sandpaper grits and he's getting bored - he's young and has the attention span of a gnat after all - so I see this as opportunity to impart a life lesson about effort and end results.

In my best dad voice ”Would you rather build one really nice box, or 3 crappy boxes?” he pauses, gives a scrunchey face as he ponders, looks me in the eye and says ”2 mediocre boxes will do.” It's been all down hill since...

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post #15 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2019, 11:33 PM
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My father-in-law had some funny ones, but they would be considered politically incorrect nowadays.

If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, it's an outstanding landing.

-Chuck Yeager
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post #16 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 02:57 AM
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One thing my dad has always told me, especially when dealing with a project was the phrase "Mise en place", a French phrase meaning everything in it's place. It's something that cooks say, expressing the importance of having all your ingredients measured, cut, peeled, sliced, grated, etc. before you start cooking. He first introduced me to the phrase when he noticed how disorganized I was, and how all-over-the-place my tools were while changing out my power steering pump line (not to mention my hands and face were also covered in grease). He wanted me to understand the importance and benefits to laying out all of your tools, parts, guides, and anything else you might need before getting to work on a project. I always hear his voice in my head reminding me whenever I start to work on the truck, and one thing that working on this truck has taught me is how right he is!

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post #17 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 04:37 AM
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"There's nothing I hate worse than a Liar, son."

"Handle it boy. Just handle it."
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post #18 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:50 AM
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"I don't care about the sexual orientation of my co-workers. I don't sleep with most of them" - second angriest I have ever seen my mother at my father

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“It doesn’t need to run like a raped ape... a mildly violated monkey would be fine.”
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post #19 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 07:28 AM
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Most of the ones I remember, for what ever reason, are from my grandfather. Like
"I do not care if its the wrong choice never tell me maybe, or kind of, give me a real answer"
also
"Always hold the door open for someone, as you never know what door it may open for you..."
&
"A manure spreader is the stupidest implament on the farm, becuase when its doing its job its kicking the s**t out of its self"


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post #20 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 08:56 AM
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My grandfather used to tell us:
"Never fight fire with fire unless you've already been scorched"
It was a saying he learned from his commander in the War


I have 4 older brothers close in age. Naturally, we were always fighting. If any of us went to tattletale to dad this is what we heard:
"Don't cry about it punch him back"
Then we got that 'look' from mom that was behind dad after he said that. You know the one that says "Never listen to your father"

My brother used to sleepwalk a lot as a kid and he sleeps like the dead once out. One night my dad thought it would be funny to put roller skates on him. Needless to say, my brother didn't think it was funny when he went to school with a huge knot on the side of his head. Ever since then when he would cry or complain about something my dad would say: "Don't make me put skates on you tonight" Oh that would infuriate him. Still, to this day it's said in laughter.

And there's always the:

"Nobody said it was going to be easy"
"Shut up and get back at it"
"When your grown and have kids of your own you will understand"
"I have too many kids to care"
"You boys have it so easy"
"If it weren't for your mother i'd have you ....."


Oh the good ol times...
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