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Sayulita Layta!
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First of all don't tell me Long distance relationships don't work, because that is :bs.


Secondly, lets talk long distance relationships. What are your experiences? How far away are you from your significant other, what is the time away, and how is it working out? What makes being away easier, what makes the time away go by faster, and how do you cope with your sig (or yourself leaving for a period of time)? Anything else people want to add in is good too, I just want to talk because I am emo right now. My girlfriend went back to school (2,000 miles away) on January 2nd and it is doing all sorts of things with my head and my emotions :cry



A little background information on my long distance relationship:

I have been dating my girlfriend since senior year in high school which was about 2 years ago, and we had know each other about 3 years before that. We officially got together one year ago, December 2006, after she had already been away at school for a couple of months. We both knew that long distance relationships were tough and would take a lot of work to workout. Isn't it funny that even when you know something before hand (such as she's leaving in a month, 2 days, 5 minutes, etc.), then when it actually occurs (she hops on that plane back to school), it comes as a total surprise. I thought that the second time she went back to school this year it would have been easier than the last, but it was just as hard to say good bye to her as it ever was.

I love her a ton, and she may possibly be the girl I marry later down the road. We are plenty young and are in no hurry what-so-ever (so, no; I am not asking if I should marry her now). She makes me happy and I was/am still fully supportive in her decision to go to college 2,000 miles away from home. One of the main reasons why I decided to get into a long distance relationship with her is because we had a good background; trust, fun, excitement, communication, and we really just get along really really well, I love her company; and that is all hard to find in one person. My love for her has pretty much stayed the same or only grew over the past couple of years, and I am sure hers for me has too. We have not had any problems with dishonesty or cheating and I am proud of that. I am not looking for another girl, because I have one so special to me. Plus, I really truly believe she could be the one I ask to marry down the road.





The point of this thread is not to ask if I am doing the right thing by being with her or for you guys to tell me to go find another girl, because that is not the case. I just want to hear other peoples situations, talk about stuff, hopefully feel better about her being gone. So lets here the stories (Audra... Shado... Jackhart... anyone else?)
 

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unfortunatley it didnt work for me. started dating a girl when i got out of boot camp Nov 2002. knew her for several years before that. i was stationed at Cherry Point, NC and she was living in her hometown of Garrison, TX 1200 miles away. dated for 2 years while in, saw her twice a year for 10-12 days at a time. wanted to get married to each other, bought her a promise ring and everything. eventually broke up, figured we were wasting each other's time. still friends to this day. in fact i need to email her tonight.

anyways, works for some, doesnt work for other. i hope it works out for you though. i know what its like to be head over heels for someone and not be able to see them everyday. its hard but i know yall can do it, just have faith and be faithful. good luck bro!
 

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Sayulita Layta!
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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks Bronc_17113 and Monkeyhouse for the quick, late-night feedback and sorry it didn't work out for you Monkeyhouse. I hope it works out for us too, but only time and fate will tell.


Right now I am not worried about us making it, because I know we will. We have already gone through a year of long distance and it worked out. We see each other 4-5 days every couple of months, you know the typical school breaks (thanksgiving, christmas, spring break, etc). She is supposed to come back mid-March, but I am planning a visit to go to Indiana and visit her Early-February for a weekend before my classes really start rolling. I know that is only a month apart for now, but we have gone 3 apart without seeing each other and neither of us liked it at all. We have decided that 6 weeks should be the maximum time apart if we can help it. I have some money I put aside to spend on plane tickets to visit her, I've never been to Indiana, and I have never been to the snow (seems like a perfect opportunity to go).


As I stated above, lets just chit chat and talk about what you did or do in your long distance relationship. I like talking to people, especially if I am feeling down. Long distance relationships can be successful, there was a TIME article that stated, Long distance relationships don't have any higher failure rate than close relationships. Truthfully, I think you get out what you put in. I think Monkeyhouse's relationship is an overall success; although him and his girlfriend broke up after 2 years, they still talk and are friends. That my friends shows me a relatively successful relationship. Who knows, maybe they might get back together in the future (depending on the circumstances), time and fate will tell.



What are your experiences? How far away are you from your significant other, what is the time away, and how is it working out? What makes being away easier, what makes the time away go by faster, and how do you cope with your sig (or yourself leaving for a period of time)?


Keep all the stories and tips coming.
 

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Thanks Bronc_17113 and Monkeyhouse for the quick, late-night feedback and sorry it didn't work out for you Monkeyhouse. I hope it works out for us too, but only time and fate will tell.
yeah, i wish it wouldve worked out, mabey it was for the better.


Right now I am not worried about us making it, because I know we will. We have already gone through a year of long distance and it worked out. We see each other 4-5 days every couple of months, you know the typical school breaks (thanksgiving, christmas, spring break, etc). She is supposed to come back mid-March, but I am planning a visit to go to Indiana and visit her Early-February for a weekend before my classes really start rolling. I know that is only a month apart for now, but we have gone 3 apart without seeing each other and neither of us liked it at all. We have decided that 6 weeks should be the maximum time apart if we can help it. I have some money I put aside to spend on plane tickets to visit her, I've never been to Indiana, and I have never been to the snow (seems like a perfect opportunity to go).
if yall are seeing each other that often then yall will be good to go.


I think Monkeyhouse's relationship is an overall success; although him and his girlfriend broke up after 2 years, they still talk and are friends. That my friends shows me a relatively successful relationship. Who knows, maybe they might get back together in the future (depending on the circumstances), time and fate will tell.
well, that made me feel better about it.:beer


if i had to go back and do it all over again, i wouldnt change anything. we broke up on very good terms, neither of us were mad at the other. we just decided to call it quits, because we didnt get to see each other very much, and mabey we were keeping the other from someone better than ourselves. she has somebody and is happy and im good with that. as long as she is happy. im single and happy, just working and having fun. i have "buddies" so im good.
 

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I think communication is key. I've never had a long distance relationship per say but I did spend about 6 months overseas away from my wife (at the time was my gf) I had no access to a phone and was only able to access the internet once or twice a month. I was 7 hours ahead of her time and I we would talk for as long as possible via instant messaging (much more personal than email). She would turn her computer speakers up all the way so when I messaged her it would wake her up. I never thought I could miss someone as much as I missed her, but I think that is how you know it is right. I remember looking forward to the day that we went to the US embassy to access the internet.

Just keep it up man, it can work, I know a lot of happily married couples that spent years away from each other. If she is the one, then it will work.
 

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Hang in there stan, and us FSB west coasters will keep you plenty busy with your freshly up in the air truck.

I wont say I was in a long distance relationship cause I saw the girl once a month and she was only 1.5hrs away. We broke up, but it wasnt the distance, I changed since I was 17 and just wasnt compatible with her anymore. Turns out she was a bitch, but thats a differnet story. I did manage to learn a few things though.

Its always tough when they first go cause your used to seeing them, once youve fallen back into your old routine time moves faster.
Just enjoy the time you have and dont worry about the time you dont. College is temporary, and if it works for you guys (which it is) then it will just make your bond stronger. Plus you guys can talk all the damn time and that helps. Just remember, phone sex is really just playing with yourself.

Just dont succumb it jeleousy and all that nervous sh*t, thats what kills some long distance relationships. From what ive seen of her shes a great woman that wouldnt do any of that stuff, and your alright too:toothless.


Oh yea, and nothing distracts you from working on your rig like a good woman, so use this time to build up the beast:thumbup
 

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green ones make me horny
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I stayed with my girl when i left the UK (cause british accents on a hot girl si just plain hot) so she could stay in school, but when she graduated she wanted to stay there and teach so we went our seperate ways. it worked fine until that point. we are still friends and i still love her to death, and we still talk all the time
 

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I think communication is key.
Absolutely.

Stang & I were long distance for the first year and a half of our relationship (and with his upcoming deployments, we will be again). It <b>can</b> work. We made a 100% honesty policy, and stuck to it even when it sucked.

I think it has made us a lot stronger as husband & wife - we had to develop a certain level of communication without body language and the subtleties of behavior that you see when you see someone all the time.

He was in New York and I was in Atlanta for those first 15-odd months. We both coped by having a lot of life going on outside of our relationship - work, school, hobbies, etc. We visited each other about every 6 weeks and took turns.

Good luck. :thumbup
 

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Formerly vt89gtvert
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To be honest I didn't read the entire thread, becaause that is just alot of reading....

If jealousy or trust is an issue then it tends to not work. I had a long distance relationship in college that ended VERY badly and both were and issue. She was very jealous of me going out with my biddies drinking and partying. I almost cheated once, made out with a girl for like 10 minutes, started to feel bad and left her dorm room.


And I couldn't trust her as she cheated on her preious boyfriend with me. I didn't know that until like 6 months later. Long distance relationships can work, but it has to be a good strong relationship I think, with definat plans of being together later. Long Distance relationships can work, but it is harder.
 

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Where is she now? Got pics? :toothless

Sometimes I wish there was long distance between my wife and me.

If it is meant to be, it will be. Good luck.
 

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50% or marriages fail when the people are living in the same house. I would say you have at least those good of odds.

My wife and I started dating when she lived 100 miles away. It was a lot of driving, long distance calls and chatting on the computer that got us through.

If it is meant to be, it will work out no matter what the obstacles are.

Best of luck! :thumbup
 

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Audra and I have a long distance relationship. We are 1,000 miles apart.
It is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.
I will keep trying though, I will never give up, she is worth it.

I have recently been able to see her at least every other weekend. It isn't enough, it never could be. I am so sick and tired of driving to airports, sneaking out of work early, getting back at 3am monday morning to go to work at 7, then play catch up all week, and try to get ahead for the following weekend. I sit on the plane for two hours going bananas. I hate it, but I will always run to her every chance I get. She is amazing and I am madly in love with her. I am sick and tired of trying to do everything with a phone in my hand. I try to work on the house and the headset, something is always in the way, you cannot drive nails without hitting the mute button, cut wood, anything. It is so hard. It is worth it though. I will suffer through that as long as I have to. I would not miss out on a minute with her no matter what that meant. She has the most beautiful voice, it is like the angels singing.

It is so easy when both of you are working on it, and have the time to spend together. She apparently has time now. It won't be so easy when she doesn't have time for you.
Or when you don't have time for her.

Audra is very, very busy. It is difficult to get time with her. When she has time, I many times do not. That stuff happens, it is very frustrating and it can be hard to live though, but it does get better and then it gets worse, and then it gets better.

She handles it much better than I do.
Communication is very important, but not enough. We will spend as much as 12,000 minutes on the phone a month, and that is not enough.
I try to write letters. Send packages, and I am not sure I could ever do enough. First problem is, It is impossible to show her how much I love her. Secondly, even more impossible to do it from 1,000 miles away.

Do you realize the commitment you are making? This is not something that means you can do whatever you want on the side, or behind her back. If you talk to another woman about anything, if you surf porn, if you are not there when she calls. When she finds out she will never trust you again. The relationship would be over. You cannot do anything that will rob time from her. She has to be your number one focus. You have to be honest no matter what that means.
The trust level has to be incredible. If you ever had a relationship where you felt like you were under a microscope, this is worse. You do have to be careful about how you handle everything. If you say the wrong word, do the wrong thing and she stops talking to you, then you are stuck buying a plane ticket to go fix it, and I hope you can afford it, and I hope you can get the time off of work. Even then when you fly back home who is to say everything is ok. It takes even more work than it did before to keep it up.

You are young maybe your trust has never been broken, maybe your heart has never been broken, but don't get lazy. You have to be proactive in making it work. You cannot ever let up.

You are on top of the world now, but what about finals week when she isn't there for you. What will you do? What will happen when you miss that attention from her? How will you handle it?
You will develop doubts and questions, how will you handle that?

Find a support group now, make your plans now for how you will handle it. Those days are coming and if you cannot handle it properly you will lose what you cherish so much now.

I have not handled it very well at all. I have made plenty of mistakes, but I am lucky enough to have an amazing woman and she hasn't given up on me.
I got to marry the girl of my dreams. I honestly believe that. I am 1,000 miles away from her. If we were living in the same house I don't think I could get enough time with her, but we are not. That in itself is very, very depressing. Then what I do get is these little tid bits every other week. How wonderful life can be, then only to be ripped away from her and heart broken again basically. So I sit at home, all by myself and all I can do in my depression from missing her is say, why would that woman want to be with me? What makes me think I can keep her? I beat myself up even farther.
It is not my choice, it never has been, it is hers. All I can do is try to stay focused on building that relationship and not slack. That is hard. You have all of these buddies saying, hey come on, let's go do this. You will have all these things you want to do for yourself, you will start to slack. You will get burnt out, no matter how you feel about her, you will get tired of trying. The effort is relentless. It never stops. I never can stop.

I am the luckiest man alive, I know that. At the same time it can seem too good to be true.

I have tons of feelings on this topic, just not enough time and focus to put it in here now.
 

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I had that relationship you have.

If you truely want to preserve that, never let it go. Don't do something stupid like **** it up cheating on her or talking to other women online. Don't ever cross the line or she will never trust you again and it will be over.

I've been in a long distance relationship so long I can't even remember when it started. I married that long distance guy. Trust is the number one thing. It is expensive. We buy plane tickets sometimes 3 and 4 times a month. Last month is a great example. There was plane tickets the 1st weekend, and the second weekend, I drove out the 3rd weekend and then flew back. 3 days later I flew out and stayed a few days and then drove back on new years. We spent almost $2000 in travel in the month of December alone, if not more.

Trust me the time between visits will get unbearable. It sucks to be alone all of the time for anyone. Add a cell phone to your plan for that extra ten buckls. Your in calling is free. Send it to her. solves the minutes and expensive phone charges thing dead in its tracks. Fly out, email, messenger, send her packages, surprise her often and always remind her how much you love her.

When you get upset, or need someone to go emo on let me or Traveler know. We know exactly what you're going throughand would be good people for advice.
 

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Good words from both of you. ''

Stan you got a good head on your shoulders, and know your a good kid (well until we introduced you to beer, but thats our fault:toothless) So i know you wont be doing nothing stupid. Ale's a good woman too, hell shes put up with you this long, i wouldnt worry about her straying.:rofl: Just keep busy, which wont be hard, work extra, use the money to work on the bronco, or come over and help me out:thumbup

Keep the trust and communication completley open and all will be well, just use your buddies here to get you through the rough times. If you need a hobby, lord knows i got enough to do on my bronco if you want to help out and learn with me. OR i can show you how to reload and you can reload .45 for me:toothless
 

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a renegade of funk
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if the expenses dont kill ya lack of honesty and communication will. me and my GF started dating my junior year in high school. then i went out to ohio for school and it was rough on both of us. but we talked as much as we could and i made the 14 drive when i could afford it. like said before, communication and honesty will make the difference, and if its ment to be then so be it.
 

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I met my GF when she was studying abroad in Australia. We dated for like 3 months then she went back to the states to live. I came over for a vacation, stayed two months, then moved to London England.
We'd talk every second night on the phone. After about 4 months she came over to visit for 3 weeks. After that visit, it was another 5 months before I got to see her again. I came over to the states to visit for a month, before heading back home to Australia. I spent 2 months back home before packing my shit up and moving over here.

It's been over a year since I moved here. Things are going great between us. We are engaged now (with an unexpected kid on the way :shocked )

Trust and talking frequently are the main things that kept us together. It's a bitch doing the long distant thing.
 

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damn now THATS long distance, so whats gonna happen when the kid pops out, she movin here, you goin there?
 
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