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Slow Noob
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Discussion Starter #1
been with my g/f for 6 months. bout 5 weeks ago she said she needed a break, i called her that friday and told her i was going to plow the driveway and she got a little snotty, of course she was sick all week and the kids were home from school. i called her this past friday after 4 weeks of not calling her because i don't want to piss her off and been a little afraid to call her, but didn't get a call back. before we got together she was single for over 3 years. the friday before she said she needed a break, i called her house a few times and a friend of our's house a couple of times, didn't know if her or the kids were hurt or anything cause she wasn't home when she told me to call her. a few people are telling me to just give her some space and she'll come around. when she said she needed a break, she said that we were ok, she just felt a little smothered. she told me to get some stuff done around the house like replacing carpets, putting linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom. her daughter asked if i was gonna be there dad, and she told her that i can't be there dad, but there stepdad and asked if she'd like that, her daughter said yeah and so did she. she's the type of person that's up front and will tell you how it is and i don't think she'd tell her kids that i'm gonna be their stepdad and just end things hurting them in the process. sorry for the rant, just been going insane the last couple of weeks. i've never had feelings this strong for anyone i've been with. flame me if you must, but i figured i'd talk to ya'll and feel a little better not keeping everything bottled up.
 

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Premium Member
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23,549 Posts
sounds to me she is not interested in you any more.
 

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If you don't even live together and you are "smothering" her, then I don't imagine you having a shot as getting married, being the step-daddy, and living-in full-time.

Awfully hard to keep the smothering down to a min if she can't send you away, tell you not to come over, not to call, etc. etc. etc.

And this ain't "Bronco and Wheeling Related", so you Sir, are in the wrong forum :goodfinge

Just so you know :toothless
 

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CheeseBurger Milkshake!!
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Stick in her ass, donkey punch her, then run like hell.


On a more serious note, move on, she has or wants to. Time for you to do the same.
 

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coming from a 17 year old you cant expect much but I'll give you my input on the situation.

I'm guessing shes getting a little scared and wants to experiment and not feel tied down. I've seen plenty of girls like her and plenty that have hurt some good guys. It's very unfortunate. I understand how difficult it is to move on with things but sometimes it is for the best....

on the flipside...

she may just be confused. Since I do not know her, her history, or how she acts it is hard to judge but she may very well be in love with you, the same as you appear to be with her. She may have never felt this way and may just be extremely nervous.

It's hard to say.

Either way I wish you the best of luck... its never fun and I know the feeling when you mind is constantly racing in worry and wonder. Just try and relax no matter how hard it is to do so.

Best of luck to you:beer
 

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Man with a Golden ticket
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Dude,
You sound pretty young, I think you need a little Leykis 101. :doh0715:
 

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Satyr of the Midwest
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17,734 Posts
I'm thinking she's just a real busy chick, and there's no "good time" to iron out the wrinkles of a relationship. Just tell her ya care about her and the kids, and that you'll be there for her when she's ready. There's absolutely nothing you can do on your end right now.

Until then, go have fun being single. Pork every hot chick that'll take ya home. :hump
 

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Run sugar boy. RUN!!! Make your own kids to spend your retirement and vacation money on. Seriously, run fast and find a young slightly overweight career driven woman to support you and your toys.
 

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Man, I'm glad I'm not in ur shoes. I wouldn't wish a broken heart on anyone. Ive been there more times than I like to admit. I have found that it is easier to walk the earlier you walk and it sounds like that is what you need to do. Its tough but it WILL get tougher if you let her keep doing this to you. You need to flip-the-script so to speak and put things on your terms.:beer cheers and good luck
 

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Run sugar boy. RUN!!! Make your own kids to spend your retirement and vacation money on. Seriously, run fast and find a young slightly overweight career driven woman to support you and your toys.

Make your own family, don't settle with a ready made one. Easier said than done...I know. Sometimes their kids it what makes it hard but as much as you may love them, you can't make it work for them. Besides, kids of your own are that much more special!
 

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Sway Is My Fan Club.
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Prior to this "break" how much time were you spending with her? Sounds almost like a situation I wound up in, where one minute we were on our second date, the next week he was staying for 3-4 days at a time and calling me all the time when he wasn't here. Yeah, I got smothered quick, only took me 3 months to figure that out.

I'm guessing if she was single for 3 years, it may be too much, too fast. :shrug Just back off a little. Call her when you think about her every couple days to say hey what's up and then go about your day. Don't drop her, but get off her back every second of the day.
 

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......and stop riding by her house and checking up on her.....she knows its you.:rofl:
but seriously, this may sound stupid, but just do it.don't call, drive by her house, text her, ANYTHING. just act like you don't give 2 shits about her, and she'll come around.
and if she doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.:thumbup
 

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No prepuce on my -
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Prior to this "break" how much time were you spending with her? Sounds almost like a situation I wound up in, where one minute we were on our second date, the next week he was staying for 3-4 days at a time and calling me all the time when he wasn't here. Yeah, I got smothered quick, only took me 3 months to figure that out.

I'm guessing if she was single for 3 years, it may be too much, too fast. :shrug Just back off a little. Call her when you think about her every couple days to say hey what's up and then go about your day. Don't drop her, but get off her back every second of the day.
I agree with this. She's been single for 3 years. You've been dating for 6 months. You feel it's serious enough to be talking marriage...she may or may not be feeling the same. That is kinda fast in my opinion. She may just want to slow down and be sure her head is on straight. If she drops you for whatever reasons...better to do it now than later.

If this is the girl/family for you - then tell her where your heart is at and let her sort things out. Don't drop her. Give her her space...but just keep in touch so she knows you're there for her. Let her be ready. If you're serious - then wait until it's right - losing 3-4 months of together time is nothing compared to a possible happy home/family when all said and done. Take a deep breath. My 2 cents of experience. :beer
 

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My wife had(s) two kids before we met. Let me tell you, playing adopt a family is not easy. Just cause you have been around them for a few months is a whole hell of a lot different then fulltime parent. I am not trying to be a ass with anything I say, just calling them like I see em’

There are two battles going on.

Look a month long break….that is not a break, it is a ending.

Being a parent is the second battle.

There are choices that I have to make everyday, my wife and I have two more children now (4 in total) I am a step dad for two of them and the “real dad” for the other two.

Yes there is a difference, and trust me, their mom looks at everything I do and weights it with a grain of salt. Perhaps I yelled, perhaps I pay one too much attention, it is all done on a scale. My wife being the final judge on all of it.

When a woman tells you she wants a break, it is usually cause they want to bang someone else. When a woman that has kids wants a break, it is usually because the “father/provider” role is not being met by the partner.

Don’t be the creepy guy and call or show up out of the blue. Don’t be the creepy guy that buys presents for the kids, or talks to the neighbors about the family. You want her back, keep your shit together. Don’t turn into the stalker guy.
 

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First, you should never have to walk on egg shells around anyone! Teach this woman how you need to be treated or move on, sounds like she has way too much baggage, why do you want someone elses children and that much responsabilty...............? :scratchhe

Dude, if you're young go sow seeds with all the SINGLE WOMEN, have a good time and enjoy your life, don't strap yourself down now and be carefull legally because if you start supporting these children and the relationship doesn't work out the way you want, you could be liable until the children are 18, :smilie_slap when the time is right make your own children with someone who cares about you. :doh0715:

Think of all the BKO's you could own etc etc etc. lol lol :chili: Know what I mean? :chili:

RUN BROTHER, RUN AWAY FAST :thumbup
 

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I'm sure that there are a few here that would disagree with that statement.

*cough* bknstk *cough*

Where are ya Steve?
I see ur point. I was speaking of my own experiences. I've been with women with great kids and had to say goodbye to them. I also had to say goodbye to a 6 year old boy who I believed to be my son for six years until I found out the truth. That sucked way more than loosing children that I had become attached to do to a relationship with their mother.
 
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