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Discussion Starter #5
Why Bill Gates couldnt Build a car!!

Top 16 Things Bill Gates would change about the Automotive Industry

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill Gate's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:


1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. For some reason you would simply accept this.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

11. New seats would require everyone to have the same butt size.

12. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

13. The U.S. government would get subsidies from an automaker - a first.

14. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.

15. You could have only one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car 95 or CarNT - but then you would have to buy more seats.

16. People would get excited about the new features of Microsoft cars, forgetting that the same features had been available from other carmakers for years.
 

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:histerica :histerica :histerica That's pretty good.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
AOL CAR!

Here are some of the features of the new and upcoming AOL CAR:

The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.

The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.

The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.

The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.

AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.

Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.

The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.

The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.

Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.

If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.

The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.

AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.

AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.

Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.

It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.

AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.

Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age? It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.

AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.

AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.

Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
 

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Designated Tranny Killer
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very true
 

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i read that somewere else

but it is all true and i hate aol with a passion
 

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heard this one too,


i live to much in the computer world :duh

still funny
 

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Sway's jealous of my
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Hah, fawk Gm AND MS. Hence I drive a Ford and prefer to use Linux.
 

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Sway's jealous of my
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I've called twice trying ot cancel my aol..both times they've like not let me do it. It pisses me off. !!!

They've been charging me 12 bucks for like a year and a half. Ok..I'm canceling right now...
 

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Sway's jealous of my
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Those fawkers are persistence. O_O
 
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