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those are hilarious!!

this isnt quite as funny, some funny parts..

http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/trd/4110923274.html

Monster Truck Race Team Looking for a New Team Member (Kitsap County and Area)
We have a monster truck race team with seven trucks. The job will lead into a driving position of a monster truck. We have four high end haulers that you will eventually be trained to drive. We expect them to be taken care of as if they are your own babies which includes keeping them clean, polished and doing pre-trip checks on them. Be honest with yourself, if you keep your own vehicle trashed then you will not be able to take care of our stuff which will be unacceptable. These things are looked at as if they were John Force Race Team travelling down the road, so professional driving is needed at all times. This includes no screwing off mooning people or hooting and yelling out the windows. This is not a party this is our career.

All lodging is covered by us when we are on the road which is either a hotel, sharing rooms with other crew members, or staying in the haulers.

We believe heavily that your actions on and off the track are a reflection of us and ask for respect and manners whether it is for your crew members, track crew, hotel staff, restaurant staff, other teams, media, sponsors, fans, etc. I also expect 100% out of all of my crew so that problems can be caught and repaired before they become major problems. Most hotels are sponsored to us so we can not be trashing hotel rooms and you must be respectful of other guests. We are a team that works hand in hand with promotion companies and race tracks so keeping the facilities clean is a must as is making sure everything is professional looking. We have a pit bike and a pit quad that crew members are more than welcome to use, but use them with your head. Doing donuts in race track parking lots and screwing off at times is unacceptable. Don't mean to make it sound like they have to be driven like a Cadillac as there are times when we all do wheelies and tricks, but common sense must be used. The hygene of yourself is top priority for all times which includes cleaning hands and showering daily. We know you will be dirty while working, but making sure you are clean when the job is done or when we go out is what we are asking for.

The monster trucks need to be maintained and taken care of. If they don't work, you don't work. We need someone with common sense and realizes that these things are very expensive like a $20,000.00 motor and not like your $89.00 weed eater from Home Depot that you can just start up and hold wide open without checking the oil or just doing a visual inspection. This will all be things that you will be taught how to maintain, take care of and repair for all aspects of the trucks. We need that person that will listen, learn and remember. Everyday there is a list of items that need to be done and we can all team together and bust it out in five to six hours or we can all goof off all day and take 12 hours. Everybody is on salary so the more time you want for yourself depends on hard you work during the day. Some weeks are not that fun and some weeks are a blast. Some days we can work 12 - 14 hours and other days it can be 4 or 5 hours. Working with monster trucks is like having a membership to a crossfit gym and some days you are very tired and sore.

The number one steadfast rule we have is no drinking the day before a show or the day of a show. We do not tolerate drugs. We require you to wear black pants to displays and media events and during the show if you are not in your fire suit. You will need to keep a show bag with a clean shirt and black pants in the hauler or trailer for display and show days in case you have been working on trucks and get dirty as most times we can not make it back to the hotel to change. We would like you to wear black pants during work days as well because we deal with mud, dirt and oil and it just makes you look unprofessional when it is on blue jeans, but it is not required. We will supply you a couple t-shirts.

I hate to make this sound negative with rules all day long, but I am giving you the absolute worst because every Joe, Dick and Henry thinks monster trucks are cool and thinks they want to be a monster truck driver and treats it as if it is just a party. I am telling you all this because I need to find that person that has common sense, that can think about the next morning as well as what they are ding right then. Right now we have three guys working for us that are hard workers, but have the attention span of a shrub. We need to find someone that can decipher duties, look at the big picture, delegate and take charge during times when it is needed.

We want to see resumes. We want to see not so much a resume, but something that tells us about you which includes hobbies, what you have accomplished, what your drive is, skills and why you would like to do this. We want to know about you. If you think this is not for you there is no need to respond. If you only want to do this for a week or two there is no need to respond either. We want commitment. We also need someone with a clean record without any felonies as we travel to Canada and Europe. You will also need a passport. Must be able to travel approximately 40 weeks a year and be gone from home up to three months at a time. Through experience, crew with families do have a hard time being away for extended periods of time so please consider this prior. Should be mechanically inclined, be able to address problems and work towards repairing the issue, and know the basics of motors, rear ends, transmissions, drivelines, etc. Experience in operation of heavy equipment may be beneficial: example forklifts, bobcats, excavators, bulldozers. While we are on the road we pay a $100.00 food per diem.

Our website can be found at www.straightupracing.com so if you like you can take a look and see more of what we are about. We also have a a facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/StraightUpRacing. Two of our trucks are part of the Monster Truck Mafia and their facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/mtmafia
 

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4:20 Enthusiast!
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3,278 Posts
I guess that depends on how bad you want it and how much change you got to play with.



A nice one was just built and sold on Counts Customs or whatever that show is called.It sold for near $40000.
It was nicely done.
 

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1,279 Posts
A few weeks back a VW 21 window Safari van that was perfect due to the rotisserie frame up resto sold for over 100K! It had a factory canvas fold back roof.
Swamp
 

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154 Posts
It may be beat but I think it's worth al least 1500.
 

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154 Posts
I would rock it in the woods. I am done to deep into my f150 to buy this.
 

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4:20 Enthusiast!
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3,278 Posts
MINT JOHN DEERE rocket ship pure pure power death machine



Date Listed 20-Oct-13
Price $400.00
Location Thunder Bay
For Sale By Owner
Make John Deere
Model lquid fire
Year 2014
Kilometers 3000
Engine Displacement (cc) 4
Colour Gold


This baby got a single cylinder diesel bored over 900 feet per inch it has 13 boondocker turbos that makes the purple pecker pony power band unreal and this is all under its show room condition hood. It also has not 1 but 2 10inch stacks coming right out the back end. Reason for selling is because im looking to buy 6 feet of card board to hang in my bathroom. I might be willing to trade for a 900 feet per foot yacht. Let me know what you think.

other trades that I may consider
-x box non of that 360 S H I T
-19 inch tv non of that flat screen S H I T
-6 foot picnic table non of that 8 foot S H I T
-3 hot ho's non of that fat S H I T
-lawnmower and 3 beers so I can cut my grass non of that push mower S H I T

So if you want to make me an offer for this weapon call 1-800-SLED-FAST
 

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1,595 Posts
You rednecks will get a stiff willy over this one.......:thumbup

http://chicago.craigslist.org/sox/cto/4154818677.html

I thought I recognized that bronco, sweeet! All in all looks to be worth the price if ya didn't want it for bein the movie prop all the primer and crap looks to be all surface work to make it look rough, interior looks quite nice and clean as well as the body lines and its already lifted. Should clean up great or keep it as the prop it is
 

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Premium Member
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1,765 Posts
Ok, first time trying FSB's little picture album thingy. Lets see how this works out.

This travesty isnt too terribly far from me. Anyone need me to go take a look for them?





Link to ad here

Text:

1980 Toyota Truck
"Little Foot "
Original 20R 4 Cylinder engine..
Will run forever...
I own several Toyota trucks... These trucks never die, just get a little older...
Serious body lift... A real head turner!
Bottom of the doors is almost 4 ft....
Body not perfect... But it really just needs paint & a little body work...
Antique plates... Yes, It's street legal but it shouldn't be put on the street before replacing the tires.
Got good tread, just old & feel hard as a rock
Need some new rubber!
Truck is @ my farm... I live in Arlington.
Can meet you anywhere, anytime if you are serious about buying the truck.
Please call @ 817 987 7253
NO EMAILS PLEASE! NO MORE TEXTERS!

3000. Make Offer / Trade


Feel free to Email or text this guy. It looks like safety is his first priority, so I'm certain he'd be willing to establish somewhat of a relationship so you'd feel comfortable before going out to meet. Fortunately for everyone possibly involved in the situation, it merely needs new tires before it's safe on the freeway!! In case you cant see it from the pictures, those are TWO 2x2 square tubes welded together at (here's the astonishing part) EVERY CORNER!! It's like Toyota said "This is safe enough for us," but this was like "NO! Not safe enough!! My welds will help!"
 

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Roller rockers are gay
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19,203 Posts
that belongs in the pirate4x4 hack thread.
 

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Wow this guy is stoned!! 28K???

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ford-Bronco-2-door-1979-ford-bronco-351-cleveland-engine-6-000-miles-91-000-total-good-shape-/121218692689?forcerrptr=true&hash=item1c39327651&item=121218692689&pt=US_Cars_Trucks

1979 Ford Bronco is a two-owner vehicle. Green and white. Super nice, no rust. Original interior, good shape. Original tailgate, no rust. Mileage: 1,400 miles since rebuild. Total mileage: 91,000 miles. Total drive train rebuild by the Jasper Performance Shop. 351 Cleveland engine, about 6,000 miles. Several improvements to the engine (call for details). C-6 Transmission, Super Duty. Clutches, enlarged oil holes. Slight shift kit; slight stall for improved pulling. Air conditioner. Tilt wheel. Cruise control. Power windows, after market. Tires, great shape. S.S. Exhaust. This 1979 Bronco is a wonderful driving experience.



Looks like he has another one:, 46K or offer?

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ford-F-250-Two-door-1978-1979-ford-f-250-4-x-4-total-drive-train-rebuild-new-interior-door-panels-/121218866093?forcerrptr=true&hash=item1c39351bad&item=121218866093&pt=US_Cars_Trucks

 

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USAF C-17 Maintenance
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6,908 Posts
HOLY SHIT THIS ****ING CAR
LOOK AT THIS ****ING CAR
IT'S A 1997 SUBARU LEGACY OUTBACK
BITCHES LOVE 1997 SUBARU LEGACY OUTBACKS (SOURCE: THE BITCHES)

WHAT YOU THINK 2 WHEEL DRIVE IS ENOUGH FOR YOUR COMMUTE?
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE COMMUTING THROUGH AN APOCALYPTIC ZOMBIE HORDE
YOU CAN'T AFFORD A KEY LOSS OF TRACTION WHEN THE FLESH EATERS ARE BANGING ON YOUR REINFORCED GLASS WINDOWS
GOOD THING THIS SUBARU IS 4 ****ING WHEEL DRIVE

THIS CAR ROCKS AN AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION
SO IT'S FOR YOU CLASSY ****ERS TOO BUSY BANGING THE PROM QUEEN TO WORRY ABOUT WORKING THE CLUTCH

OH AND NEWSFLASH ****ERS
IT'S WINTER
THIS IS MICHIGAN, HOMES, IT GETS COLD
NOBODY'S GOING TO WANT TO MAKE OUT IN A ****ING NEON WITH BUSTED HEAT

LUCKILY THIS SUBARU HAS HEATED GODDAMNED SEATS SO WHILE YOU'RE FRENCH KISSING KATE UPTON (kate upton loves subarus) YOU'LL KEEP BOTH OF YOUR FINE ASSES TOASTY
THOR DIDN'T SLAY THE FROST GIANTS OF JOTUNHEIMR FOR YOU TO BE COLD ON THE WAY TO WORK
HE'D BE ALL LIKE, "NAY, PURCHASE THIS HORSELESS CHARIOT WITH HEATED SEATES"

BUT LIKE, THOR HAD GOATS NOT HORSES
BUT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DEBATE THE MERITS OF YOUR FAVORITE BEAST OF BURDEN WHILE BLASTING YOUR FAVORITE JAMZ OUT OF THESE UPGRADED SPEAKERS (kate upton loves upgraded speakers)

AND OH YEAH
THIS BEAST HAS CRUISE CONTROL
TRULY, YOU ARE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DOMAIN

THIS MOTHER****ER HAS DONE 180,000 MILES AND IS STILL GOING STRONG
I HEAR IF YOU BREAK 200,000 YOU GET TO ENTER YOUR INITIALS IN THE HIGH SCORE SCREEN
SURE IT GOT SOME DAMAGE WHEN I WAS TOKYO DRIFTING WITH VIN DIESEL, BUT THE DAMAGE IS 100% SUPERFICIAL. THE CAR WORKS SO ****ING GOOD BECAUSE I SPENT A DRAGON'S HOARD WORTH OF GOLD TO REPLACE THE PARTS
THE ONLY REASON I'M GETTING RID OF IT IS BECAUSE I'M MOVING TO A FAR OFF LAND WHERE PUBLIC TRANSPORT IS A THING

BILL CLINTON WAS PRESIDENT BACK IN 1997 AND HE ABSOLUTELY SLAYED *****
IF YOU BUY THIS 1997 SUBARU LEGACY OUTBACK YOU WILL TOO
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LOGIC WORKS

SO RISE, YOU BADASS NEW GOD, AND CLAIM YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE INSIDE THIS CAR

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/4204233070.html
 

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