Here's the one that was posted near me not long ago.
Seems to be a bandwagon people are getting on. What people don't seem to realize is that this isn't an effective sales strategy, it's just kind of funny. Or it was until people started copying and pasting it.
I should start by saying that if you are looking for a "Pajama party Barbie Jeep" you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words "MEAT & POTATOES". This is the All American chariot of the free world.
You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter Jeep son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! From that day forward my life has never been the same. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this Jeep Wrangler.
So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.
This baby's pulse is pumping 4.0 liters of uncensored raw fuel through her straight six nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine automatic. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the shifter. And she will obey, the first time, every time. If you can't handle your stick shifter, or reach the clutch pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her.
It has no A/C but are you kidding me. . ..Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: doors off, top down. "What if it rains?". . .You sissy! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn't give a dang about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he's already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts.
If you are looking for the kind of jeep that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the "carpet doesn't get wet and soggy" Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some other piece of junk. Cause this thing has drain holes in the floor and rhino lined to let the blood drain out from the buffalo you just killed, with your bare hands. Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your "sissy sponge glove car wash kit" in the pink bucket it came in. Go ahead and spark up your 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer in your man cave, cause you are Tim Gillespie and you can pressure wash your truck on the inside. She's got rhino lined floors with a full roll cage in case that buffalo comes back to life while you're doing 80 over some mountain pass or flooded river.
If you're thinking about Mexican chrome bumpers for her, think again. The bumper bashers come hand forged in a blacksmith shop in Franklin County over a wood burnin fire, out of 4 inch well casing, and railroad tracks and then I welded em to the dang chassis. That way if you get deployed you can piggy back this war wagon on a deuce and a half and chain her down tight from the four corners, so you don't lose her when your convoy gets hit by a taliband roadside suicide bomber.
And forget about putting one of those "It's a Jeep Thing. . .You wouldn't understand" stickers on this machine cause when you're spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . . . .real quick.
you think you're ready to park this beast on your tract of land???
If you buy this jeep you better go get your old lady ready for some changes around your lair
Sounds good doesn't it?
This jeep has carried me through 113,000 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie "300″. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. If you think you've worn her out you drag this beast back to me in any condition. And Ill handle the rest.