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A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE:

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured that legally this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

AND FINALLY

A man asked his wife what she'd like for Mother's Day.
"I'd love to be six again, " she replied.
On the morning of Mother's Day, he arose early, got up, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her off to the local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was.
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down
Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you ass!"

The moral of the story:

Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
 

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Are those REAL?!?!
Joined
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1,702 Posts
Ain't it all the truth!~!!!

:histerica :histerica :histerica :histerica

:wacko

:thumbup
 

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hates EVERYTHING!
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11,456 Posts
:shrug I don't know...a woman was speaking, was I s'posed to listen??? :histerica





















Just messin' Mrs. Rat ....good ones! :thumbup
 
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